冷静不代表我潇洒，
冷漠不代表我没有丝毫的内疚。
某天某时我会被这股歉疚吞噬，
某月某年我相信我会为伤害你付出代价。
因为我相信报应，
因为我也曾经为我伤害过的人得到惨痛的教训。

我知道我连说抱歉也没资格，
我也没资格奢求获得原谅。
如此不堪的人，
如此不值得到爱的人，
仍希望你找到属于自己的天空。

Ah Yi created a huge fuss over de adaptor lost & scolded me upside down.. She deliberately said tt was not de adaptor she lent us, hers cost $10+ & not de type I bought.. Didn't she mention before tt de adaptor was taken back frm China? I took de rap anyway, I said I lost it.. I dun wan it 2become any problem 2any1 else, so dun u dare admit u lost it cos I din mention any name.. She said even a small adaptor I couldnt keep it properly, I shld haf lost myself instead since........... Watever lah.. Let it be..

I would haf teared a month back if I get scoldins like tt.. But, I indirectly spoilt de trip & caused everyone 2b unhappy, yet u guys told me it's ok.. I feel really bad cos it's de 1st trip we ever haf 2gether.. I had to apologise again cos I feel so bad inside 4causin everyone 2b so uptight, so nervous all de time.. So I tink tis is de only small thing I can do to make it up to u but do help me keep a lookout for sm $10+ adaptor, if nt everyday she'll call & scold lah.. U guys knw her so well rite? I'll go look for it 2nite before tuition as well..

P/S: I feel much beta.. Thx for always bein supportive Emerlyn.. I'm always teasin u givin u a nick call BBL but it's really so much fun gettin 2knw u so well tis year.. I'm happy I've u as my cousin..

P/S: Thx u for showin so much concern & feelin de pain for me "ass".. >.< I'm really happy..

祝君好-Chi Lam

听 你不断呼叫我 划破 宁静我的心下堕
在难过 讲 不出爱没结果 口和唇 紧紧闭锁
看 也一话都不说 害怕 连累你一生 日月
憾无缺 只差跟你曾遇过 给过你 太多波折

宁愿没拥抱 共你可到老 任由你来去自如 在我心底仍爱慕
如若碰到 他比我好 只望停在远处 祝君安好 虽不可亲口细诉

说 太多话我想说 但我还是要哑口道别
任由我天空海阔流翔去 只要你白似冰雪

宁愿没拥抱 共你可到老 任由你来去自如 在我心底仍爱慕
如若碰到 他比我好 只望停在远处 祝君安好 虽不可亲口细诉

宁愿没拥抱 共你能够终老 任由你来去自如 在我心底 仍爱慕
如若碰到 他比我好 只望停在远处 祝君安好多么想亲口细诉

My all time fav song & a MUST sing at KTV, I'll sing it again at de KTV SPECIALLY 4u Didi nxt time k.. I rem de astonish expression tt was on yr face wen I sang tis song.. Haha..

I havent cried so much & so badly since I came back frm Haikou.. I thot I was strong enough but I wasn't.. Everything has officially came to an end.. That is all I can say here.. Take care..

Nothing went well since I woke up.. mayb except that I've 4person tellin me tt I lost weight.. I'm fuckin bad mood 2de max..

庆幸有你爱我-蔡淳佳

失去和拥有 刹那的感动 人生有时候像一场梦
醒着的时候 睁开了双眸 不如意的很多
朋友和情人 来的来走的走 反反复复寻寻觅觅为了什么
要多少时间 才能够了解 其实有你就足够

握着你的手 走过快乐和难过 黑夜白昼 我们都曾经拥有
人生是没有定律的一种节奏 不如用心去感受
快乐的一刻 胜过永恒的难过 黑夜过后就有日出和日落
两个人走不会寂寞 每一刻都会珍惜 都会把握庆幸有你爱我

失去和拥有 泪水和笑容 人生有时候像一场梦
累了的时候 闭上了双眸 谁在回忆上游
多少的朋友 来的来走的走 聚散从来都不给任何的理由
转过身以后 才忽然感受 你一直都在背后

握着你的手 走过快乐和难过 黑夜白昼 每个人都会拥有
人生是没有定律的一种节奏 不如用心去感受
快乐的一刻 胜过永恒的难过 黑夜过后就有日出和日落
两个人走不会寂寞 每一刻都会珍惜 都会把握庆幸有你爱我

握着你的手 走过快乐和难过 黑夜白昼 每个人都会拥有
人生是没有定律的一种节奏 不必在乎的太多
快乐的一刻 胜过永恒的难过 黑夜过后就有日出和日落
只要和你一起度过人生没几人懂我 懂得把握庆幸有你爱我

Wanted 2learn tis song a while ago but was 2lazy.. Haven't go KTV 4long time.. No time? Perharps.. Listenin to tis song 2day bought tears 2my eyes, pretty meaningful..

刘德华 - 心肝宝贝

我 我为你付出所有的 我的担心 我的甜蜜 我的呼吸
你的笑 绝对的神奇 你的哭 绝对的可惜 因为你让我明白生命的真谛
可知道你的不小心 会让我伤心一辈子 我是愿意为了你今生永不渝

为我你要好好自己保护自己 慢慢的学习 不要干着急
一步一步走出每一个谷底 坚定不移
为我你要好好自己保重身体 在每一段的路总会一身污泥
心肝宝贝 不要怀疑 最爱的就是你

你 你是我一生的唯一 你的声音 你的鼓励 我的意义
可知道你的不小心 会让我伤心一辈子 我是愿意为了你今生永不渝

为我你要好好自己保护自己 慢慢的学习 不要干着急
一步一步走出每一个谷底 坚定不移
为我你要好好自己保重身体 在每一段的路总会一身污泥
心肝宝贝 不要怀疑 最爱的就是你

如果没好好的身体 你我怎能永远在一起 外面的风和雨已不是问题
为我你要好好自己保护自己 慢慢的学习 不要干着急
一步一步走出每一个谷底 坚定不移
为我你要好好自己保重身体 在每一段的路总会一身污泥
心肝宝贝 不要怀疑 最爱的就是你

Recently, I'm very tired of teachin.. Tgs are not smooth at all, constantly feelin real frustrated over rude students, results ain't going de way I wan.. I'm not givin up yet.. I used 2find corners 2hide & try 2get pass it by givin excuses.. But I dun feel de way I used 2feel anymore.. I want 2try harder 2get wat I want.. I am learnin 2b strong from inside.. I'm sorry I used 2disappoint so many pple before.. Hidin in depression after smtg happened in my life years ago, de hack care attitude about everytg had effected so many pple around me.. I'm not fallin back in2 tt place.. I was really selfish & I'm finally admittin it.. I am still learnin 2b a better person..

Another frustratin day yet wen I came home.. I saw tis parcel lyin on my table which totally made me 4got how tired I was de whole day.. I opened it & it was a wallet.. LOL.. Yes.. A wallet.. I had 2laugh.. Dun keep sayin I dun like it, I do like it.. Thank u.. Seriously.. It made my day so much better.. I picked myself up & start again 2mrw..

Our messy livin room in de suite..
Tis is fuckin crap, how can they eat rabbit.. Fuckers!!
Mummy & Auntie F.. Haha.. Emerlyn always -_- wen I say tt..Tis 2act cute all de time.. Lyn hair look so flat, must b wearin hat earlier on..
Didi 4ever bullyin Stephie de midget.. Mummy keep sayin tt I'm pretty.. I'm like Eee err.. So gross lah.. I duno wat I look like.. Est lor, say my eyelashes long, so I let her play with it.. -_-""
I snapped tis cos I thot she look so poor tg..
Zi lian me & Lyn blur look at de back is so funny.. The L family say tt I look like a little boy wen I wear a cap.. Is it true? I din really thot abt it.. But wen I'm 2lazy 2gel, I wear a cap..
Est is slpin, she'll kill me if she knw I took tis pic.. But now she knw.. Haha..
My anyhow style hair day..

I'm missin my cousins.. 1st nite without them.. Sigh.. I got closer to Emerlyn tis trip.. I know I am super crappy & I really like to disturb u.. Haha.. U knw why? Cos des always tis look on yr face tt make me laugh really hard.. Yr laughter is really contagious.. Peace is nv der wen EMERLYN (Alice cos of de hat she bought & hairstyle) is seen.. LOL.. I ask her today if she found me crappy, she said yes but she like it.. Such sweet reply..

Stephanie (Tina cos she's always askin me to spread my legs -_-"" S5 Episode 6) is blur blur one, always gif a v funny blur look & happily snappin pictures.. So cute & bubbly.. Sam (Shane cos she always act shy) leh? Always playin with her cube, smtimes I feel like takin it & throw it on her head.. But she's her laughter is so cute lor.. -_-"" Like a little kid.. Didi (Kit cos he's like a bro 2me, in tis case sis) leh, v v v nice, goes wherever I go.. Someone dear to me & he put up with my bad temper all de time.. Thx so much.. I dote on u too.. I call him hubby at times.. Haha..

Forgot to say who I am.. I'm Bette (Not becos I'm pretty, but cos I like Beals, so hot & sexy.. Aww.. But I frown most of de time like her, mayb used to.. >.<) Esther, (Carmen cos she's cute & Sam need a partner.. LOL) I love u, back den & always my dear rabbit sis.. Kat (Tasha cos she's strong) I'm really sorry.. Anyway, we almost missed our flight on day one.. Lucky we din cos I really enjoyed de trip thou der was sm hiccups here & der.. Mummy sense tt der was smtg wrong, but I juz deny it all de way.. Gonna post de 3rd set of pic I got & der will be more to come.. We are photos maniac.. I nv took so much pic in my life before.. >.<

My part time gf..
Why is my mum spoilin de pic??
Stephie & me in shades..
Outside de shoppin mall.. We juz went 2venture ourself & scare de parents 2de max..
In a cab 2da ruan fa..

Sam waitin 2b massage.. Sexy pose..
Emerlyn waitin 2b massage.. Act hot ah?
Stephie waitin 2b massage..
I like de expression on didi face.. >.<
My lovely son always..

Pretendin 2b in deep slp.. Looks real? Ugly rite?
3midget at de back of de car.. Did Steph juz woke up?
One day tour with a retard kid..
Tis pic is horrible, sam looks like she was goin 2do a blow job.. Eeeks..
Tat v hand is not mine ok.. I dun like to post like tt.. I'm not even cute in de 1st place.. -_-""

In de back alley of de village..
Under de sun in de village..
I tink I look de best wen most of my face is covered.. I am serious..
1st day we were der, one of de 2pics we took..
Me & my retarded son..

San Ya resort..
Village

Why does she haf her armpit near my face? -_-""

Emerlyn dimple is nice.. Can I haf it?
I like tis pic.. Tink Emerlyn & me haf chemistry wen we take pic.. Everyone is like wah lau.. Look at those 2takin pics again..
My new jacket I bought.. Dun look at de shorts lah.. Look at steph..
Took it in de toilet & I thot I was de one who pulled de emergency string.. After tt I found out it was didi tt asshead.. He thot it was china & de flush shld be kinda kuku, so he pull de strin.. No water of course.. We're stayin in a president suite for gdness sake..
I had 2post tis despite my double chin.. Didi look so stupid..

Act cute lor.. Stephie & Emerlyn..
The midget & de giant..
De 3midgets, all short short one.. They bought 3same shirt 2b worn.. Haha
Bunny & her fat da jie, me -_-""
This 3retards tryin to act like a rocker..

Finally I can gain access into my blog.. Haikou network was like blockin de access.. Stupid.. Now, I'm in a Sunny place call San Ya.. Day 1 & Day 2 in Haikou was juz shoppin & eatin.. I tried not 2eat 2much rice in case I gain back de weight I lost.. 1st day diner was like 14dishes for 13pple.. It's so crazy.. We stayed in de presidental suite as usual.. Not tt impressive but it's still cost 2.5k RMB per nite.. (Waitresses only earn 1k RMB per mth ok) I bought myself a sports jacket.. Yah.. Like jacket again.. Haf 2lah.. Cover my fats.. Cannot let pple see.. Dun really haf much impression everyday except tt I cry myself to bed.. Sigh.. It's my fault that we broke up.. I won't say much.. And I shldn't.. I'm juz very very sorry.. I mean it..

Day 3 which was yday, we went to ah gong & ah po village.. It's still de same as last year.. Juz tt most of de pple in ah po's village has all moved to de city.. Went to visit ah po sis also.. Like photocopy de.. Later i'll post sm pic, but must select 1st cos most of de pic captured haf my triple chin which haf 2b censored!! -_-"" Day 4 is 2day.. I'm in San Ya.. It's warm here, unlike Haikou which can be like 17'C at nite, here is like singapore.. And.. I actually left my spects in Haikou luggage, haf 2wear lens all de time which make my eyes feel like they're burnin all de time.. So bai chi lah me..

Sigh.. Tis is probably our last trip 2gether.. It's de 1st time I cried so much durin a trip.. I still hope u'll try 2enjoy yrself..

I'm leavin for China today.. My grandparents din manage 2go cos both of them got in & outta hospial.. Sigh.. Really upsets me big time.. I'm so tired tis days.. Mentally tired.. Hope de trip is fun.. My 1st trip with my parents in my 29+1yrs of life.. >.<

I have alot of feelins inside me today.. I haf no idea how to put it in words.. Anyway, I'm leavin 4China soon.. Grandpa cant go.. Sam, Steph, Didi most probably cant go..

Des a huge amount of fear inside me.. It's eatin me bit by bit from inside.. I'm juz listenin 2my blog song & tears juz flow again.. Who am I? Why am I so afraid?

~Drownin~